I am looking for distractions. Yes, all my problems here are not getting solved. I don’t have any relief from this pain. So, I have started looking for distractions. From past three days, I text people at night and try to lighten my mood by talking to them something off tract, without letting them have the slightest clue of what is happening to me. But then my best friend said me, that these distractions will become addictions and today, I feel it too. That I am looking for someone to talk to again. But for how long?
So I have decided, irrespective of the bar this pain can touch I need to face it alone. Only then will this negativity convert into something. This anger will help we become active and start working and this distractions which is needed will be my work and not a person.
I miss you! I miss you life! I need all of the strength of this world. Someone needs to tell me that life isn’t as bad as I take it. People go through so much everyday. How can I complain for things that are not such a big deal. Why can’t I be a positive and happy person when God is by my side. I am only hurting myself. I am reading a book ‘I Will Survive’ by Sunil Robert. Such a positive approach he had all through it. If what written in it is possible, if such a situation of crisis at home can change into happy days, why am I losing my faith? I have God’s grace on me. But you know what, sometimes nothing good matters but only one thing which your heart desires. The failure of everything will pull you down but the success of only that one thing has all of the might to bring you up. I am such a person who looks at the darker side more often than the lighter one. The biggest problem is, although I know my flaws I am unable to improve myself. Day and again these nights give me pain and tears fall from my eyes. Haven’t it been too long? I am waiting for the day to come when what I write takes a right turn and from then only positivity flows through everything you read.